Archive for March, 2015


Bullying

J picked out the book EllRay James is NOT a chicken.

It’s about a third grade boy named EllRay James who is being bullied by two boys in his class.

I talked to J about it. I told him he is to tell his teacher about the bullying. I instructed him to advocate for himself and tell the bully ” Stop what he was doing. To state that he did not like that behavior.”  And he is to tell me about any bullying behavior. I half jokingly said I would unleash my crazy on the student and administrators. He chuckled and said he would tell me.

On Monday, a boy grabbed J and without me telling him he advocated for himself and told the little boy to stop his behavior and let go of him. The boy was put in timeout by his caregiver.

I am proud of J, he handled the situation calmly and directly. I know as a child I would have warned that kid and if he didn’t listen…I would’ve made him listen to my not so nice actions.

Advertisements

Today, I volunteered in J’s preschool class. We sang a groovy song , Rainbow Around Me. J merrily belted out the lyrics of the song. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk1xx9dhkhs) He sang louder than everybody and did the body movements that coordinate with the song.

After school we went and had a snack…french fries and flavored shaved ice. We encountered our cousin Isaiah. J was excited to see him there working the register. He asked Melissa Isaiah’s coworker ” Did you know we know Isaiah?” While we were eating snack he talked endlessly. We had to leave when he began to try to climb on the furniture.

Next, we went to a discount store to search for my interview outfits. I told him I wanted his help and input on the outfit for my interviews. He immediately said ” You need a black shirt and black pants.” I refuted that black would be too hot because it will be in the 90’s. ” He told me ” You have to wear a gown because you are a princess. Princess wear high heels, too!”  We discussed how I needed something professional and comfortable. I also told I didn’t want to be a princess I am a queen and he is my prince. He insisted that I am a princess because he is my prince.

We ended up picking a coral blouse, magenta blouse, and black lace blouse and brown trousers. He persisted that I get a black shirt. So, that I can be a Black Superhero.

It was a lot of having his input on my clothing choices.. he wanted to pick out his clothes from the women’s section. I had to explain that the store was divided into different categories and also how the clothes in the women’s aisle were too big for him.. He then said when he get’s older he will wear big clothes. He saw a Mickey Mouse Club hooded sweatshirt for himself he wanted to purchase. I loved listening to his fast paced monologue, with some occasional questions for me. Lately, he has been experiencing hyperspeech. I understand it is a symptom of ADHD, however, I enjoy listening to him babble away. I remember the scary times when he was speechless, incoherent, and lost in his own world.

J is excited for his Easter Basket.

J loves Iron Man and the color red.

I’m excited that his basket will illicit a big toothy smile.

1) Iron Man Arc FX Armor

2) Iron Man 50 piece puzzle (2)

3) Fresh Fruit: Bananas & Oranges,

4) Sunrise Farmers Market Fruit Snacks

5) Art Supplies: Bingo Dot markers, Primary Color paints, Colored pencils.

The Beauty of J!

J is amazing! His smile and imagination mesmerize me. He is a reflection of his father and paternal grandmother. Seldomly, I see glimpses of myself in his image.

I devour his cuddly moments…sometimes they are to avoid a directive I have given. Today, he jumped on me several times and gave me cuddles and told me he loves me. I grab him close and tell him I have a secret I whisper in his ear I love him. His rebuttal is ” Mommy, that is not a secret…everybody knows you love me….I know you love me.”

His self-esteem is sweet. He has soaked up all my positive affirmations. J knows he is amazing, thoughtful, and intelligent. When we were at Chik-fi-la he made sure to help the babies open the door. He always makes sure babies are safe…he stays close to them to make sure they don’t fall. He freely hugs and kisses little girls and finds something positive to say about them like ” you have a pretty dress.” He always tries to find commonality between he and other children ” We both have a red shirt, but you have Spider man on your shirt , I don’t.” J is a social butterfly like myself; He talks to anybody and makes himself comfortable with them. He mirrors my behavior…I am SUPER  social..I engage in conversation with everybody….greeting anyone I come in contact with. I wish them a wonderful day and share a smile.

J loves red. Red is his Superhero color and his regular boy color, too. Today, he dressed himself. He picked a red shirt with white and sky blue bold stripe and red, black with hints of white gray checkered plaid print. He topped his outfit with a red beanie. His socks were red with a green frog prince.

He has a fantastic imagination…He calls his swing his rocketship. He spends hours drawing, coloring and cutting out his drawings. He created a picture of Cyborg as a centaur, He gave Raven a pink cloak; he noted that “Raven changed her clothes.”

J loves and looks forward to story time. He isn’t playing much with his Thomas toys, however, he often picks, Thomas books for storytime. J especially loves the Thomas toys with sound effects.  I enjoy when he reads me books.

He is observant. We were waiting at the drive thru and a young woman walks by in a blue shirt that had the word PINK on it. J remarked ” why does her shirt say pink when it is blue?”

J loves numbers and math. J was talking to his friend Josh..J was saying something about the number 100 and Josh said he wanted to have 2 billion. J comments ” That’s a lot more than 100.” Later, that evening J tells me ” Mama, 8 + 4=12 and 3 x 4=12″ I often hear him saying math facts to self throughout the day.

This evening, he had fun watering the mesquite tree. He exclaimed the waterfall from the hose was a “rainbow”.  We made jazz music with harmonicas, tambourines and maracas. He sang the ABC’s while we danced and sang.

J’s strength’s are his love, automatic forgiveness, optimism, cheerfulness, and his enthusiasm for learning. He is a cyclone of movement…dancing, tumbling, climbing, sliding and jumping.

Haircut Handsomeness

J loves red. He loves wearing red and he has to wear red head to toe!

His latest obsession is Superheroes. He combines his two favorite things red and superheroes.

Iron man is his alter ego.

While sleeping J talks about his day and that he wants to wear red. He wakes up when it is still dark asking “Do I get to pick my own clothes? Do I get to wear red?”

Today, He woke up excited. J smiled and asked ” Is it my day to choose?” “Do I get to wear my red shirt?”

I told J he needed to play and not focus on his clothing.

Since it St. Patrick’s day, I said he can pick his shirt, underwear, socks and shoes and I would pick his shorts.

After I picked his camouflage shorts he threw them across the room laughing saying “No!, I want red pants.”

I explained we were sharing today clothing choices. I overheard him saying ” My body is worried and scared about wearing those shorts.” He was whimpering. J climbed on my lap and was deeply saddened by having to wear the shorts .

I made the compromise with him that while we are at home he can wear his red pants at home and when we go out he has to wear the green camouflage shorts. A smile jumped over his face and his body awakened into happiness.

He is a ebullient red boy..red beanie hat, red skull t-shirt, red chino pants, and two mismatched socks.

I met a Black senior citizen in Wal*Mart on our way to purchase a Iron Man mask.

J was sitting in the cart quietly and patiently.

The man asked ” Is he “special”?” “Why is he sitting in the cart instead of walking; Can he walk?”

I knew he meant Special Needs.

I correctly answered back “Yes, He is special. He is loved and cared for. He is thoughtful, caring, patient, and extremely intelligent. And yes he can walk, I prefer him to be in cart.”

The man stared at me, with an blank expression.

We went on to speak about discipline.

He asked ” Do you Spank or yell at him to get him to behave ?”

I quickly rebutted with ” No!”

He was NOT  convinced that was possible.

The man continued to argue that as a Parent you have to spank or yell to have well behaved kids.

I explained we have family rules which revolve around : love, safety, kindness, health, and respect.

He receives consequences that relate to his infraction such as a loss of privilege and / or activity.

His face and body language expressed muddled understanding.

Next, He went on to tell me that being a single Mom to a boy was going to make him Gay.

He was convinced that gay men were evolved by single Moms. He matter of factually said ” You women think you can do everything and it takes a man…These young boys are skipping out on their responsibilities.”

My confutation ” I believe homosexuality is genetic it’s in the DNA. There are many homosexuals that are raised in a two parent home. And another thing is personally, there is nothing wrong with homosexuality.”

He then remarked ” You are going to disrespect your elder by telling me I’m wrong!”

I chuckled ” That is my opinion and you are entitled to yours but I disagree with it. I have plenty of gay friends. They are awesome and healthy and also come from all different types of families.”

He shot back with “Well what does your church say?”

I smiled “The Bible says….God says…The greatest commandment is to love thy neighbor.”

Without skipping a beat he questioned ” Do you love your neighbor ?”

I smugly said “yes, I speak to them, I know their names, and I bring them plants.”

He became briefly silent and said he hated his neighbor and wanted to shoot them.

I ended our spiraling conversation with telling him to have a great day!

This weekend was the beloved annual book festival. I adore this event; I look forward to it like a kid loves Christmas. The BEST part is that children receive BRAND NEW  books for FREE. J ALWAYS get a boat load of books! Over the two day weekend he got 29 free books. They were a mix of hardback cover and paperback. I chose him some chapter books like Encyclopedia Brown and Ellray Jakes Is Not A Chicken. J was happy to choose Dora the Explorer books. J picked out books for his bestfriend who couldn’t attend the event.

The Festival has so many fun events and centers. They have a circus every year they have a new story. The circus played Jennifer Hudson music for their trapeze act. Children can relate to the children who perform in the circus. Eyes are wide with excitement and wonder.

J really enjoyed Science City. He made a red Popsicle germ with with microbes made out of pipe cleaners. He talked with Immunobiology and Microbiology majors about germs and colored pictures about germs. Next, He climbed in the old fashion firefighter truck and pulled the bell. I enjoyed the prickly pear candy in the tent that was a amagalation of sciences such as 4-H, mycology, native seed and aquaphonics. He cheered up when he was able to water lettuce in the aquaphonics area.

He was amused by Ronald McDonalds magic tricks. He paid concentrated attention to his every trick and roared with excitement. The crowd reveled the trick of making the clown move his eyes and smiling on the white board and when he made the markers disappear in the box.

Sunday had gusty winds…After story time J fell asleep within two minutes. I assumed it was because of  a long fun day. But ten minutes into sleeping his normal temperature skyrocketed to 102.8. I applied essential oils on the bottom of his feet and his temperature dropped to 100.1 and his temperature adulated through the night. He had fever throughout Monday. J took it easy and slept a lot on Monday.

J completed 20 book reports from the Reading Street 1.2 text book.

He writes 4 to 5 sentences to discuss the story he read. Each sentence is considered a book report.

J used $10 dollars to buy  two Dora the Explorer DVD’s : Fairy-tale Adventure and Pirate Adventure.

I gave him permission to veg out and watch Dora all night for all of his hard work.

He comes in periodically to get hugs and kisses then quickly shuffles off to his movie.

I used $10 dollars to buy two Step 2 books: Even and Odds and Thomas Shark Tank and 2 DVD’s : Sid The Science Kid and Multiplication Rap.

Image result for multiplication rap

On Tuesday, after I picked J up from preschool he suggested a shaved ice treat. I agreed. He enjoyed exclaiming “Yummy!”

We rushed from Grandparent’s  home. I decided to forgo his wheat restriction like I did with his dye restrictions. J devoured his very cheesy quesadilla and fell asleep on our way to Family Night at Chikfila. Tuesday night went well because he stayed asleep.

The following day, began with a spectacular smile. He was very busy, running from place to place. He didn’t sit still and focus on his coloring sheets. J loves to draw and color ; it’s his favorite past time. Together we went to DMV office. While we waited in line I gave him the direction that he could quietly play with his toy cars on the floor. He played for a few minutes then he climbed on the metal gate divider . Taunting in a sing song voice he he snickered ” I’m not listening. I’m being disobedient.” I gently reminded him to sit down and behave because when it was time to sit down we would do reading and book reports. He turned his behavior around. We sat down and he read. J entertained a preschool aged girl by being silly and not answering my questions about what he reading seriously. About fifteen minutes later, I was called. I sat at the computer and began to have technical difficulties. I called the help line. J’s behavior escalated to crawling under the  computer desk, yanking the wires/cords to the computer and ignoring my request to sit quietly and play with toys or finish his book reports. He was given some calm down time ,however, instead he chose to raucously laugh hysterically. I sat him down in a chair next to me and he began screaming and then he jumped up several times and ran around the office. I would fetch him and he would immediately bounce back up. I became angry while redirected him back to the chair while I was chatting with tech support. J also became upset and began crying loudly. He calmed down as we walked to the car.  J commenced to crying again after I reiterated that he lost his privileges. His consequences were no TV and no toys. He had to sit in his room; he could listen or dance to music, read books or play with puzzles. He apologized for his behavior an told me he loved me .

Image result for preschooler boy melt down

I didn’t think about how his behavior may have NOT been totally under his control until after he went to bed at 2 am on Thursday. He was bouncing on my bed in the wee hours of the morning when he was usually sleeping. The last time (over  a year ago) I made this mistake letting him have chow mien (wheat noodles) J spontaneously cried and had melt downs. We had to leave the Chinese restaurant early because he was so uncomfortable.

This behavior was strange; J is usually thoughtful , he had no regard to my statements of frustration-he laughed hysterically as if possessed. He is usually compliant and follows directions. I have assessed how J’s diet effects his behavior and I’m grateful to have it as a tool to minimize the struggles of autism.

Image result for BOY JUMPING ON BED

How does a gluten-free/casein-free diet for autism work?

The benefit of a gluten-free/casein-free diet is based on the theory that children with autism may have an allergy or high sensitivity to  foods containing gluten or casein.  Children with autism, according to the theory, process peptides and proteins in foods containing gluten and casein differently than other people do. Hypothetically, this difference in processing may exacerbate autistic symptoms. Some believe that the brain treats these proteins like false opiate-like chemicals. The reaction to these chemicals, they say, leads a child to act in a certain way. The idea behind the use of the diet is to reduce symptoms and improve social and cognitive behaviors and speech.