Tag Archive: love


“I love you, too…Mommy”

This morning I enjoyed watching J sleep.

He often smiles and laughs in his sleep.

Occasionally, he makes request or statements such as ” I love you, Daylyn!” or ” I want Grandpa…I want Grandma….I want Grandma and Grandpa.” in his deep sleep.

J looks incredibly perfect sleeping, with his pouty lips and chunky cheeks. I often find myself savoring his perfection when I ought to be sleeping.

This morning he woke up to me lovingly gazing at him while he slumbered. After he opened his eyes He said ” I love you, too…Mommy”

I love him more than He and I both KNOW! ūüôā

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It started yesterday, J was upset because he didn’t want to share the train table or the trains at the childrens museum. He threw himself on the floor and hollered for a brief second…I scooped him up gave him kisses and told him I understood that he wanted to play with the table all by himself and not have to share the trains or table…Then I let him know the other children also want to play so they all needed to share. I gave him another hug and he was ready to play. Later, he pushed his blue train where he couldn’t reach and fell to the floor again. I told him he needed to say “help me please and I would get his train” he used his manners and was back to playing.

Today, He threw himself on the floor when Granma told him to be nice. She told him to come to her and she sat him down on her lap and explained why he needed to be nice and he was better and she sealed with a hug and kiss.

He had two more tantrums this evening. First, he had a emotional outburst when his bestfriend Sky had to go home. I used empathy and told him I know how much he loves Sky and misses him when he leaves everyday, but he will see him tomorrow. Kisses and squeezes helped him. Next, was a result when I told him he couldn’t have a second drink of orange juice. This time, I laid on the floor and looked him in his eyes and explained that it was Grandpa’s orange juice for breakfast and he wouldn’t have any if J drank it all , however, he could have OJ when we arrived at home. He gave me loving touches on my face and we hugged.

J was grounded in his room for hurting Skyler.

He had had 2 previous timeouts; he seemed to escalating with bigger objects.

J was grounded to his room for a hour. I would check in on him, explain to him why he was in his room. I cuddled him and kissed. I explained my expectations of his behavior once he was released from his room. I provided snacks for him to eat.

He had a hard time being in his room. J would leave his room and I had to escort him back explaining ” you are grounded in your room for hurting others”.

After he was released from his room, he came and sat next to Skyler. He smiled at Skyler and said sorry. He gave him a hug.

He didn’t have any further incidents that day.

The next day, we tackled intimidation. J would grab stuff just to get a reaction out of Skyler. Skyler would grab his head and start crying.

I called J over to Skyler and asked him ” What kind of friend do you want to be to Skyler?” “Do you want to be a kind? comforting? gentle? or happy friend?” J chose to be a comforting friend. He began to rub Skyler’s back and smile at him. He hasn’t displayed any negative behaviors since. I will keep asking him what kind of friend he wants to be….because that seemed to work!

Last nite, all I wanted was a nice hot steaming bath with soothing vapors.

I planned on sipping hot cocoa with mini marshmallows in it.

But, J had different plans. He went to bed at his usual bedtime 7:15 ish.

We had a long fun & playful day.

He began his morning with playtime at the library.

Then we came home played in the backyard and had lunch and a snack.

Next, we went to the train museum. He explored the famous 1673 Southern Pacific train.

We searched for rectangles and circles. We hunted for the color yellow. Together we counted to 30.

After the train museum we had snack and played in the backyard. At 4:30 we had Rectangle Rug time and we went over concepts: colors, numbers, shapes, and letters.

We read a couple of books…

I fed him dinner, had praise & worship, brushed teeth and nursed him to “sleepyville”.

J did not want the cuddling to end….He would “release” me to finish my “me time” activities.

I put everything on hold to comfort him. I left lights on, turned my bath water off, and left dishes in the sink.

At 2:25am I got up to turn off the lights and he clung to me grumbling and beginning to whimper. I told him I was getting up to turn off the lights and I will be right back. He went back to sleep peacefully. When I laid down He threw himself across my chest.

I was able to fulfill my desires this morning, I had vaporizing vapo-bubble bath. I lathered up with my pomergranate mango bodywash, while smiling at my marsupial toddler boy….He clings on¬† to me and goes whereever I go. I love him and his clingyness! ūüôā

Sick!

On Sunday, I was surprised to have a pressure headache on my left side. The pain surrounded my left eye. Next, my nose started feeling congested…Suddenly, I felt mucus in my¬†nose dripping down. Blood was swirling around in it. (¬†I was diagnosed with what I suspected I had a SINUS INFECTION!)

On Monday, I felt dizzy, shaky, fatigued, feverish (101 and rising), and everytime I bent down to pick something up a throbbing blinding headache would rush through my head. I immediately called my Doctor and scheduled a appointment. He glanced up my nose and concluded “it’s definitely swollen”. He gave me a prescription for Cefdinir 300 mg. The first dose made me feel a lil bit better…it removed my high fever. I got a little of my strength back. But after the 2nd dose I felt a whole lot better. No more fatigue, bewilderment, or any of my flu-like symptoms.

Yesterday, evening I was able to go to my Parents home and take a nap while they played with J. While I slept I heard J and Granpa having a duet on their guitars. I heard wild and happy laughter shared between J and Granma.

My 1st encounter with love was of from my childhood…My Mom a single-parent loved & cared for 4 children.

My Mom’s Love philosophy was to treat us as individual’s….She was patient, nurturing, and caring. She emphasized critical thinking…whenever we had a problem she gave us time to reflect on how we could make a better outcome for ourselves. She used spanking as a last resort.

She also made sure to spend individual time with each of us…I have fond memories of going to the mall with her and shopping or window shopping. My Mom¬†HATES the mall but she did it because I liked going there.

I always knew she had my back, as long as I was honest with her. I remember her Mama Bear coming out to a P.E. teacher who was failing me for no reason and when she fought for me to go to Advanced Placements classes instead of Honor classes. She ALWAYS  believed in me!

She always  encouraged me. She made sure I was constantly learning and given great experiences. My Mom enrolled me in a program called Leadership for young women by National  Organization of  Women (NOW) when I was in junior high.  It was a fun, educational and exciting meeting with progressive women.

My Mom recently wed, and I get firsthand veiwing of what a healthy, normal, and awesome loving relationship is. She married a superb man who genuienally loves her. They are responsive to each other. They are introspective of one another. ( There are also other happy & compatible relationships in my family.)

Because of what I viewed in my family and what I saw happening in other families. Domestic violence, alcholism, infidelity, broken marriages & commitments, and¬†abandoned children left me JADED about LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, and MARRIAGE. I concluded that I would NEVER love or get swept up in LOVE because it would be a hard fall downwards. I also believed I would never commit to anyone. My ideal situation was to be financially independent, have a good education, and to be happy being by myself. I chose not to use the word alone or lonely because of the negative connation of the word. I believe you choose to be lonely….there great ways to have a fulfilled life without a partner. I had some other notions that I have left behind…such as being polyamorous and using men for pleasure purposes only.

I have regrets how I have treated my first “real” love….I have apologized for objectifying him and not authentically loving him. This relationship taught me alot about myself….He was the first that I let my “WALL” down. What made it “real” for me was that I cared when I didn’t see him or spend time with him. We didnt have to go anywhere but just talk for hours…share stories. I actually cried when I hadn’t seen him for a while.¬† I am not an emotional person…so this caught me off guard.

What I “learned” from that relationship didn’t¬† amount to much because after him; I then went on “SABBATHICAL” from relationships and just wanted to “Have Fun”. Fun I did have…I have regrets on that “FUNSHIP” because the aftermath has led to hurt souls. I’m okay, because I know I consciously made the choice to have a “funship” with someone who is not ready for MATURITY. I have grown tremendously I am no longer my selfish & immature self. However, others are left without a real answer to why they have to suffer because of our choices.

In 2009, my heart swelled and exploded with an incomprehensible LOVE. Through my pregnancy I was bitterly depressed and angry. But the day my LOVEBUG was born I made a resolution to be HAPPY.¬† I love cuddling with him, seeing him smiling, watching him play and chew his food. I stare in amazement he no longer looks like my babyboy but a big boy! His transformation is subtle…he grows a little at a time…you barely notice it until his jeans or shoes don’t¬†fit. his voice is music to my ears…my heart bouces with joy when he calls me Mom or gives me a great big hug. Every morning I am blessed with a smile and radiant dark chocolate brown vibrant eyes.

I love him MORE & MORE each day….I am overwhemlmed with my capacity to LOVE. I marvel at how he learns, recollects, and his sense of humor.

J is fearless and walks with great confidence. Lately, he has decided that all playground equipment is his….so he guards the entrance to the jungle gym. He won’t let anyone in no matter what their size or how they try to intimidate him. The other day he was overtaken by kindness… A little boy said “Excuse me may I pass?” J didnt budge…”Hello, my name is Brayden….I would like to be your friend.” He extended his hand to shake J’s hand. J smiled and let him slide. Yesterday, without assistance he climbed to the top of the jungle gym that is nearly 6 ft high.

He has a terrific memory….yesterday we went to a park we haven’t been to in months…the last time we were there we discovered it also had a sprinkler system for the children to run & play through. J remembered and tried to turn on the water system.

J is happy and delightful….he had so much fun discovering the trunkmaster a radio scanner at the train museum. He hopped, giggled and was tickled with joy to hear the different voices.

I enjoy catering to his needs & wants. Being his Mom has enlightened me to change my previous child-rearing techniques…to be more assertive, learn how to best advocate for him, to be prompt instead of procrastinate, to not be SO¬† cheap, but the greatest LOVE LESSON he has given me is to relax, smile, have faith in God, to be blessed, to listen to God and enjoy Mamahood.¬† I LOVE¬† him!

Scenario: I am in the Grands Study/Computer room. Uploading pics & watching Housewives of Atlanta. J begans to mess with the door on the printer.

Momma: Leave that alone that is Granpa’s.

(J smiles at me…continues to mess with it.)

Momma: If you can’t respect Granpas printer by leaving it alone.You will¬†be removed from the room.

(J stops for a few seconds, smiles at me, and pushes it again.)

Momma: Ok, you have to leave now!

(J points to the word Canon)

J: (pointing to the letter “c”) C. then points to the letter “a” A

Momma: You can’t manipulate with your charm & intelligence!

(then J gives me a hug and kiss) (I’m a sucker for those!)

My Blessing: Family

I’ve been blessed to have a wonderful & supportive Mom. A few months ago, I was blessed to get a terrific Step-father James.¬† I get to witness LOVE. They compliment each other in every way. They both like to garden, watch & debate about politics, and share a laugh.

They have been helpful & supportive¬†with my parenting. We have almost daily family dinners. Where J & I get to cook for them and show them how much we apperciate them. They come over and water & trim the trees at our house. Granpa James comes over and sprays my car with the rodent repellent (without being asked), he gave J over 20 ties ( J loves ties), he plays ball with J. On Friday, he came over and picked up J’s ukelele and fixed it. He puts screws in the cracked stem & put screws in to fasten the strings.

Granma lets me borrow her 2011 Honda Pilot whenever my van has issues. I love her Pilot….XM radio, CD player, easy steering, etc, etc….She loves me unconditionally, makes me laugh, she is my rock and refuge.

I have been blessed to have friends that are my Family. My Top¬†3 besties are Nia, Nette, and Katie. But anyone I consider my friend is my family….y’all know who you are!

Jett: A Whirlwind of Love

Jett giving Jack some Love!

Everyday I am amazed by the genuine love Jett shows others.

He has this happy dance he does when he see someone he likes. The dance is composed of wild dancing feet, a cheerful smile, jazzy hands, and lovely coos.

Today he met a lil’ girl around his age at Global Chant. He gave her a expressive and warm smile and a air hug and kiss. then gently took her hand and led her around the room. A lil boy sat next to us on the rug he gave him a banana rattle he was using and gently stroked his back.

This afternoon while outside with Jack, Jett gave him a great big hug and smile. He moved his waterbowl closer to Jack so he wouldn’t have to get up to get a drink.

The Lord said “I love you” (Jeremiah 31:3)

The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him. (Nahum 1:7)

And godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love.         (2 peter 1:7)

 

I had to practice this today. While in the bathroom Jettsiah climbed on the bathroom sink and turn on the cold water after being given a caveat not to. I scooped him up & told him ” Mommy said no! and since you are not being safe and listening to Mama you can not be in the bathroom.” I put him in the hallway and closed the bathroom door. Jettsiah cried, knocked, and then brought me his sunglasses through the crack at the bottom of the door. My swift discipline worked because the next time we went to the bathroom today, he did not climb on the sink. I was so happy it only took 1 time…But Tomorrow is another day! Oh! I’m proud to say after a promptly time-out after swinging on the kitchen drawer Jettsiah has not swung on the drawer all of today. Yea!

“If we relinquish our parental authority, we are doing a disservice to our kids.”

“When Children are young , they crave limits. They seek real rules, not rubbery ones. But by the time they reach adolescence, kids who don’t see their parents as authority figures begin to look elsewhere for a code of conduct.” “The ‘2nd family’, the collective power of the peer group and pop culture.”

“The best way to protect kids from these outside influences is for parents to assert their authority with consistency and conviction from the time their children are young.”

“The key is to strike a balance between offering our children support and empathy–and simultaneously providing structure through clear expectations of how we would like them to behave.” We as parents have to provide LOVE & LIMITS.