Tag Archive: single parenting


Last month, my struggle to get J the obvious diagnosis of autism and sensory processing disorder were correctly diagnosed.

J has had difficulties in the last year to provide direct eye contact and has been socially aloof.

I talked to his preschool teacher and his school Occupational therapist about J receiving a evaluation from the school psychologist. His OT directly told me ” Even if J is autistic the school psychologist won’t diagnose him because we don’t have a program for him.”

His teacher said she didn’t believe J had autism…because ” He gives me eye contact and plays with others.” The hilarious thing was when she said that her Assistant teacher gave her this “Katt Williams look” that declared ” You have no idea what you are talking about.”

I continued researching all different ways for him to get evaluated. His “fill-in” pediatrician , was happy to oblige me. She ordered a referrals for J to re-visit his Geneticist(she explained there may be more than just inversion of chromosome 10 & deleted 22 syndrome. She didn’t discuss what that MORE was. The Doctor suggested referrals for Immunologist, Neuropsychologist and Cardiologist (heart murmur) and the Developmental Behavioral Pediatrician .

Our visit to the Developmental Behavioral Pediatrician happened in a bright sunny room. The room had toys, books and a 2 way mirror. J and I played for a few minutes waiting for the Dr. When she arrived J was playing with a wooden doll home. He wanted me to set up the T.V. for the living room. Dr. T greeted J and I. J did not acknowledge her, even though she was a foot away from him. She spoke to J and he IGNORED her, like she was a phantom. He later, came around , when she mentioned trains. He quickly went back to playing. She was able to introduce several different toys to him without issue. He was very interested in the NEW toys.  Dr. T briefly read my favorite book “Ten Apples on Top” . She questioned “Why is the tiger happy?” J responded” He is happy because he has apples.” She probed ” why are the tiger and lion sad?” He answered ” Because they are sad.” She petitioned a few more times in a attempt to get him to say because they have less apples. However, J became annoyed and repeatedly responded ” Because they are sad!”

Her assessment was that he has high-functioning autism and sensory processing difficulties.

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Yesterday, J was skimming The Thomas & Friends Yearbook. When he turned to page 19….ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE! J began to sob uncontrollably. He bellowed ” I want it! “. Puzzled I asked “what do you want?” Loud cries continued without coherent explanation. I explained ” I can’t hep you, if you don’t tell me what you were looking at.” At this point…I assumed he lost his page and wanted help back to the page he was viewing . He screamed with tears and indignation in his voice ” I want TALKING GORDON!” I thought to myself “Easy, you have at east 2 talking Gordon’s in your playroom and 3 other versions of the number 4 engine.” My simple explanation was scoffed at ” No, I want this Talking Gordon.” Reason had NO place in this meltdown. So, I stepped away and gave him his space. Moments later he comforted himself by saying ” I will do my chores and my study time, and I will earn Taking Gordon!?” That comfort was short lived; he began hollering. His tantrum traveled from my bedroom into the living room…because I went to clean up the kitchen. J kicked off again (literally) kicking and yowling on the love seat. He out of the blue shouted out ” I want my Grandma! I miss my Grandma! You take me to my Grandma Now!” Grandma and Grandpa were the last ones to buy J a talking Gordon this last summer. This tantrum lasted for 90 minutes. We hugged it out, His estranged Dad called earlier saying he ” I love you, We are going to have yogurt…see you soon!” They haven’t seen each other in over 35 months.

Daddy Questions

Lately, my lil blessing has been asking LOTS  of questions about his Dad.

He has asked:

What is my Dad’s name?

Do you like my Dad?

Where is my Dad?

Does he have a home?

Then he has made a few statements;

I remember my Dad.

My Dad hugged me.

My Dad said “Hi!” to me.

I’m thinking about my Dad.

J is 3 1/2 years old. He last saw his Dad 9 months ago in a breif (unexpected) encounter.

Before that he hadnt seen him in over 18 months. He has had very little contact with his Dad.

His Dad was there for J’s birth. Then he saw him again when he was 8 weeks old. Then he saw him a hand full of times when he was 17 months old…and hasn’t seen him since. Except for the surprise encounter.

His Dad would speak into my stomach when I was pregnant. J would calm down and listen to his voice. J was tranfixed.

At a sonogram appointment, baby J would not move so that we could see what sex he was. The technician tried everything to move him. I moved around…and NOTHING! We tried for over 30 minutes. His Dad asked him to move and BAM! He moves just the way his Dad asked him.

After not seeing him for over 15 months, (when he was 17 months old).  He immediately recognized his voice.

Yesterday, I went to Target. I dreamed of a nice mature patio, with a fabulous wicker set. Then catapulted myself to REALITY , of inexpensive plastic chairs.

  vs. 

 

I want a bright, bold , neon colors. I want a accent wall that stands out from my dull colored home. In my fantasy, there are plants in BOLD ceramic containers. Flowers will come in a array of colors…hanging in planters.

    

I am going to create my fantasy on a strict budget…I WILL make this happen slowly but surely!

   

I’m super EXCITED ! We discovered they joy of Burlington. They have a GREAT toy selection for very reasonable prices. Burlington carries ALOT of Thomas & Friends toys.

First, J found Push Along James. The Push Along trains are quite bulky , which makes them easy to play with. Next, J discovered a Gordon. James was quickly ABANDONED. J LOVES GORDON! He played contently for over a hour.

When it was time to leave, I repeated that I was not buying Gordon . He was okay with it until it was actually time to leave. Thats when he LOST HIS COOL!

I gave him a count down. Told him “Either you or I can put it back on the shelf.” J JUMPED out of his stroller, with this crazed look. He searched right and left FRANTICALLY. Holding Gordon closely against his body. He wanted to run but was paralyzed. He looked at me earnestly and begged but also demenaded

” Don’t take Gordon from me.” He was trembling with tears in his eyes.

I told him I had a solution. “You can use your allowance to buy Gordon, ok?” He replied with a head nod.

Since he was in distress. I scooped him up and rocked him in my lap and gave him some kisses. J turned back to my HAPPY boy.

J has 5 Gordon trains. He LOVES  Gordon!

My Love Bug!

Next month, my Love Bug turns 3 1/2.

He has a TREMENDOUS personality. He is full of wit and charm. He LOVES to laugh and take life easy. He is content playing with his trains. A few weeks ago he announced to me “Mommy I NEED more trains!” He made this proclamation after we had JUST bought a NEW Gordon train. J has 3 Gordon trains, 2 Diesel’s, 2 Percy’s, 4 Thomas trains, and other countless trains. I have recently started him on earning his money so that he can save for which ever  train he wants. Tonight, he said he is saving for Henry. Previously, he had been saving for a Gordon or Edward. We counted his allowance an he has saved $10.00.

J will exclaim ” I am not here” and then request that I “cry” and after a hardy laugh he says he has returned. Sometimes, he will tell me “Don’t worry! Mommy”.

He has commenced a wild and fun imagination. He pretends to be Verdi the tree snake. He will only want to be called by “Gordon” and tell me ” J is not here, he has disappeared”. He likes for me to change character, too. I am either Aggie, Umbles, or Ribbon. He likes me to be Aggie.

He LIKES to pretend to be his teacher Mrs. Janet and instruct me on circle time or learning time. Tonite, he got out his foam numbers and combined different numbers and asked me what numbers they were. He answered for me correctly when I played ignorant. He made the numbers 18, 81, 19, 91, 77, 44,  and 17. He knows his number 1-100.

J has a interest in building with his blocks that stack on top of each other. He makes trains out of them.

Last weekend, Grampa James and Cousin Daylyn put his dome climber together. J has climbed all over it . J asked Cousin Daylyn who is 16 years old “Daylyn, are you potty trained?” on the way to get frozen yogurt.

J likes to ask questions. He will ask :

What is your name?

Are you worried?

Are you happy?

Why?

How are you doing?

Do you think,so?

Are you thinking?

Where is Haelee? (She is our dog. She jumps over our fence and goes on adventures.)

J LOVES words. He is ALWAYS asking “What does that say?”

He also has a interest in math especially addition. Such as 1+2, 3+4, and 1+1. Lately, he has frequently playing with his foam alphabet & numbers puzzles.

What J, absolutely RELISHES is making every action or moment into a song,

I am SO excited about this week’s letter Ss because it will be a lot of SCIENCE. Especially, Botany! We will be buying compost, planting beans, watering, reading and just having FUN!

We will have a lot of park time. Enjoying the SUNLIGHT, SWINGING, SLIDING, AND SKIPPING.If the weather permits SWIMMING in a heated pool.

Monday: Go to the park and play.

Slide, Sand, Swing, Soccer.

Tuesday: Snow Paint!

http://www.momendeavors.com/2011/01/snow-paint.html

http://keepsakesewing.blogspot.com/2010_01_01_archive.html

Eat Spaghetti.

Eat a Snow Cone/ Icee.

J LOVES the idea of snow. He played with the neighbor’s barbecue ashes, making snow angels. He was covered in ashes. he DOES NOT like being dirty. He exclaimed ” I’m not dirty, it’s snow!

Wednesday: Swim

Thursday: Seed, Soil, Plant.

Sun catcher.

Paint and glitter a Sun catcher.

Friday: Serpent.

Go to the zoo.

Books to read this week:

1st Day Of Preschool: :)

Today, was J’s first day of Preschool. We woke up at 7:30am…He played while I washed up and dressed myself.

I kept reminding him today was his 1 st day of School; he replied “no, I play.”

When it was time to get dressed, he giggled as he tried to hop away from me.

We were able to leave the house on time. As I buckled him in his carseat I remembered his breakfast.

The kids at school at pancakes, eggs, milk with orange slices. He tried milk for the 1st time. J had tomato slices, grapes, yogurt, mik and orange slice.

I stayed with him while he waited for children who were riding the bus and stayed for a brief 5 minutes while they prepared for breakfast. I gave him a kiss and tod him I would be back. He reached out his arms for me to pick him up and I told him bye…He didn’t cry; he was ok.

I was SURPRISED I was ok, I expected to be a puddle of tears not being able to leave him. I pampered myself and got my brows waxed and my hair shaved. I LOOK GOOD :)!  A new me.

After I picked him up from school; we went to get my haircut. J behaved He sat down and waited patiently.

Then we came had lunch, read stories and took a nap!

We had a fun weekend!

For the first time in FOREVER  we arrived at church on time for Sabbath School. We began our day at 7:37Am. Left the house  at 9:15am.

J sat nicely for the most part in the nursery, but had to sit in calm down time because he pushed Elisha because he didn’t want him to take the tractor. He also made Jessica cry because he pushed her out of the way of stepping on the beloved tractor. I gave him some strategies to use instead of pushing; such as moving the toy or asking for it back.

After church we went to China Star Restruant, J ate his favorite noodles and fruit. We came home and napped. The IWM had a special event: flashlight hunt. We played outside in the pond area, then he met a friend named Hadrien whom he ran around with, and then we went inside and used our flashlights. It was TONS of fun; afterwards I asked J if he was happy he didn’t stay home like he wanted….He replied “I have Fun”. He had so much fun he went to bed soon after we came home.

Today, J experienced sadness and disappointment because his music teacher was out of town. We waited on her to no avail. His face hung low and he didn’t want to leave the bottom of the steps. He was quiet and looked very pitiful…broke my heart.

Next, we went to get a school outfit, underwear ( a pack of 5 undies for $2.99), and 2 pairs of shoes for SCHOOL. Tomorrow is the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL FOR J!!!!!!!

We came home …J fell asleep on the way home. He continued to nap. I woke him up to take him to Ice cream Safari 2012. We had fun. He went and sat by a family and introduced himself. We walked around the zoo and came home watered plants, played with Jack, got filthy in the sandbox with dinosaurs, showered and cleaned house.

I put J to bed at 8p; he didnt fall asleep until 10:45p…He is going to be one tired chap tomorrow ( and so will I if I dont go to bed soon!). I have packed his breakfast, extra clothes, laid his clothes out on the bed, and started laundry….Good night!

P.S. I decided this week I am going to do the Big Chop and get my Brows waxed…Bye Bye to my Afro! Hello to very close to bald headed….easy breezy Mornings…No fuss No musss!

And I bought myself a Momma 1st day of preschool outfit. A feminine blue flouncy skirt with a basic blue T.

My Baby is turning 3 next month; Monday will be his 1st day of school.

Eating Breakfast together as a class is part of their routine. Since J has numerous allergies I will be packing his breakfast.

We bought these delicious fruit bars by Sunrype, watermeon chunks, mixed fruit (blueberries, mangoes, strawberries, melon), bananas, pineapple chunks, and cherry tomatoes. He LOVES  baby carrots so we got those.

For protein we got veggie patties, yogurt, cheese sticks, & oatmeal cookies with fruit & yogurt.

His teacher was perplexed because J is still breastfed….She asked “how is that ging to work ?”(loooking VERY  confused) ” are you going to have come in and nurse him or are you going to send it in a container, bottle?” ” Is he going to be okay without it?” I told her he will be fine he doesn’t nurse much during the day because he is so busy doing fun stuff he doesn’t think about it. It’s a naptime or bedtime thing…comfort & relaxation.