Tag Archive: toddler boy

More Back to School looks


A new revalation has revealed itself on our potty learning journey.

J has been staying dry through the night for about 2 1/2 weeks.

J will tell me “potty mom” first thing in morning.

During the day he will tell me “potty mom” and I usually have about a minute to get him to the potty or disaster will occur. So, we happily take our toad potty everywhere we go. This ensures we dont have any “failures” or missed oppurtunites for potty success.

We are phasing out diapers; we our gleefully traveling to a very independent toddlerhood.

While reading this book to J, He changed the word Papa to Mom. This broke my heart , tears well up when I think about that moment.

This was one of the many books that focus on father & child bond and love, that I believed and wanted in my earlier part of my pregnancy to be part of J’s reading time with his father.

It hurts me, that J doesn’t have a involved & loving Dad. A dad he can share childhood secrets with, he doesn’t have a Dad that he run to with open arms and a smile as wide as his face.  A Dad he thinks is the best, the sun rises and falls with. Someone he can see his own reflection ( because they look just alike). A Dad to shares laughs and good times and to teach life lessons. A dad who gives amazing and infinite love.

Daddies are so IMPORTANT. Daddies nourish and nurture their babies and provide love and protection.

When I was in my 20’s I read a article about Mothers as gatekeepers in their childrens relationship with their Fathers. That always stuck on my mind. I have done everything to make and create a relationship for J and his Father. I call update him on things that are going on his life, I have taken him to see him and brought J’s favorite toys and books ( to help foster positive memories), I call J’s father just to remind him whenever he wants to see J he can (I will postpone any plans so they can spend time together), I told him he can call anytime to talk to him. I have asked him if he understands that he can see him whenever, I have emphasized you can see him Monday thru Sunday.

I get bombarded with sorry excuses of his emotional hurt over me breaking up with him.  It’s plain self-centeredness that is the reason why he is not involved. He loves to tell people he loves J, but when confronted about him calling me to tell me he doesn’t want me to bring J around anymore for them to spend time together, he exclaims ” I don’t want to discuss that right now.” or just denies it.

He had nerve this week to call me with his Uncle on the phone. His Uncle tried to make excuses for his behavior exclaiming that my ex grew up without a Father and that was a explanation for his deficits. My Mom who is a retired Special Ed teacher offered to buy him a car ( to which I told her NO! he is a Man he needs to save, work and earn his car(I wasn’t seeing a hardwork ethic)) and provided him with free private GED tutoring which he eventually declined and refused to attend after he said he was learning.

I grew up without a Father, and yes it comes with its challenges but is NEVER a good enough excuse/EXPLANATION to not accomplish or be a great Dad.

I have 2 associates and a bachelors, paid my mortage, raised my nephew…did all that without a  DAD in my life. I know many people in my family who didn’t have a nuclear family who have Masters degrees. My own Mom’s Dad dies when she was 9 years old; raised 4 children by herself because of IRRESPONSIBLE  men she married didnt take their roles as husband & father seriously. My Mom has 2 masters degrees in Education.  President Clinton & Obama were both raised by single Moms.

J is blessed to have a very LOVING  granpa. Who gives him attention, love and lets J shadow him.

I love my son, he is the best! He is jubilant, expressive, creative, delightful and my everything!

Lately, J has been asking to go potty or bringing the potty to me and exclaiming “potty”!

He will also answer truthfully if you ask him if he needs to go potty.

He hasn’t had very many accidents.

We had a really good week.

It included tons of fun activities:

1. reading lots of books, painting pinecones,

2. nature walks around the neighborhood,

3. playing with a friend,

4. visit to the zoo and ride the train,

5. visit to the desert museum,

6. and  feeding the giraffe’s at the zoo.

Friday, was a emotional day…I knew something was coming because J didn’t want to eat and he had a rash developing. Tell tell signs sickness is on the horizon. Early Saturday morning about 3am, J woke up saying “ow, ow,ow” and pointing to his ear. He quickly went back to sleep. J woke up happy exclaiming “get up, Mom! get up” while reaching up high. He had a smile on his face. We rushed, got dressed and ready for church. After Sabbath school I noticed swelling on his preauricular area. We packed up and headed home to pick up his medical history. We were going to a different hospital than last few times because his ENT dr doesnt have priviledges there.

I have really enjoyed this hospital. The staff listen to what I tell them. They are running test to see exactly what pathogen it is. The test turned out positive for Staph, and now they are seeing what it is “sensitive” to. Finding the best way to treat this iniquitious infection. While he recieved his I.V. they entertained him with short movies. He watched Cars and Sesame Street. They kept encouraging him telling J he as being ” a brave big boy”, “he was being such a good boy” and other kind motivating words. This helped ease his pain & anxiety…he didn’t cry much.

We have been carrying on our regular routine of reading books (I brought his top 7 favorite books), and he recieved a new book here called “Superman: Battle of the Galaxy”. While he was waiting in Triage he got to meet Batman, Superwoman, and some other super heroes who delivered him a boardbook, comicbook, and some toys (Cars). He was in awe.

I brought his toy trains..so he has been playing with his toys. We have also done some colorful scribbling.

We are probably going to be here for 7-10 days….Its going to be hard because we are used to getting out of the house and going on lots of fun adventures….

I want to convert our library/ study into a music room for J.

I want to cover the walls with blues posters. Posters of blues icons, movies about music, and music influenced pictures.

I want to upgrade his keyboard to a 52 key keyboard.

I REALLY love for him to have a karaoke system with a video camera, ipod deck, and microphone.

I need to buy him some more recorders.

Music is intrinsic to J’s soulfulness…it makes him happy.

I want to create a unique, special, and fun room that demonstrates J’s LOVE for music.

A place to ROCK out in!

The centerpiece of the room will be his drumset. I will work around him drumset to give the room ROCK LEGEND ESSENCE.

Today, was a new day…full of experimentation.

Today, J went to a public event with out a diaper, rode in his car seat with out a diaper….and managed to stay dry all day!

I put the potty in the bathroom, and he brought the potty out to me in the living room.

He sat on a “big” potty and BM’ed in it without hesitation…usually he is very weary of “big” potties.

I was weary to try this because yesterday we had several “mistakes”; I was getting shy of the idea of sans diaper.

But as always J amazes me!

We will have up & down days; but I wont let the down days get me discouraged! Im going to keep moving forward with a upbeat attitude!

Today J didn’t eat much or drink much.

He nursed a little here & there. Nibbled on honey crisp apples, pineapple chunks, and a few big spoonfuls of lentils & mashed potatoes.

He dribbled out less than a teaspoon of urine in the potty. But flooded his pants.

We had a total of 3 clothing changes today.

The irony of these accidents is they were directly moments after getting off the potty.

I didn’t make a big deal out of the incidents. I addressed them by saying ” Let’s  clean you up with a wipe & get a fresh pair of underwear and pants on!” I let him choose which pants he wanted to wear. Which he didn’t care because he wanted to be naked but it was too cold to oblige his wish.

A great sense of PRIDE!

J the Mountain Climber!

Today, while on our nature walk J pointed to a high hill proclaiming he wanted to climb up like our dog Jack.

The Overprotective Momma came out and said ” No, thats way to high!”; then I thought to myself “I am hindering him…if he thinks he can do. I should at least let him try!” So, I conquered my own fears of him falling or not being able to do it and supported his ambition.

I let him go first, and supervised and supported him from behind. I gave him encouragement and empowering words.

J climbed up the rocky terrain with ease and comfort. The dirt was loose, but that did not deter him.

He made it to the top. We both smiled!